Feb. 10th –
Well, here I am. It’s biopsy day and I’m trying to be calm and collected but I have butterflies. And all the pain from the week before hadn’t really eased up. The area was still very aggravated and very painful, even swollen from all that darn squeezing. I get the ultrasound tech from the week before. Yay. I really liked her, she was great. The reason I got her again was because this was gonna be an ultrasound guided biopsy to pinpoint the exact area that needs to be tested. Here we go again. It’s gonna be painful. She sends me to change. As I return, she’s unwrapping all the tools form their sterilized packaging and setting them about the rolling table the doctor will use. I caught a glimpse of those tools and couldn’t help but become fixated on a somewhat fat needle that was at least 10 inches long! *gulp* What the heck?? I tell her with my sarcastic self, “well, that doesn’t look intimidating at all!” She says, “just try not to look at it”. Well, it’s a little too late for that. It’s all laid out in front of me.
The doctor comes in who’s going to perform the biopsy, he’s nice. He has a jokey side to himself. This is calming. At least he’s not so serious. I get positioned on the examining table and he explains the procedure. He’s gonna clean and numb the area with a local anesthetic, lidocain. He’s gonna give me shots in the surrounding area and also inside. He goes on to explain the actual procedure and what sounds I will hear. When he takes a sample of the tissue the needle will give off a popping sound, similar to a pop gun. He will let me know when this is going to happen. He will need to take at least 3 samples. I’m given the anesthetic. I feel the small needle pricks, not so bad. But I really feel the one that has to be inserted all the way into the breast. Ouchie. Also, too, because the tech had to push down on the ultrasound wand to get the best image for the doctor. This really hurts. And if I hadn’t said it before, I’m no baby when it comes to pain, I’m actually pretty tough. So, when I complain about pain, you know it’s hurting me.
I keep my eyes glued to the monitor and he gets ready to begin. He presses around my breast to make sure it is numb enough. It feels numb to the touch. He inserts the biopsy needle from the outer part of my breast. Holy heck! It is not numb on the inside. I feel that sucker go all the way in and I tense up. I see the needle on the monitor and it made it’s way to the black blob on the screen. He’s gonna count to 3 and take a sample.
1. . . . .2. . . . . 3. . . . . POP!! Oh my Lord, I jumped and just about flew off of that table!! That popping noise seemed to echo through the walls. He pressed on the area and asked if I was okay. It hurt like hell and I told him it was painful. He gave me more numbing medicine and waited a bit. Sample 2, again, 1. . . . 2. . . . 3. . . . POP! That popping noise to me was just traumatizing. That wasn’t as painful but it was uncomfortable and by the time the 3rd one was done, I didn’t feel it at all. He’s all done. He explains the ‘at home’ aftercare. I’m bandaged up with steri strips and guaze, told I was gonna have bruising and of course, pain and discomfort. The tech gave me water and tylenol and a nice ice pack to take home. Since it was Friday my results probably wouldn’t be in until Tuesday, they would call me. I leave with a sigh of relief for the reason that it was finally over.
I get in my car and text my bestie, Penny, ” that was the scariest procedure I’ve ever had done!” 😟
Her, “are you okay?’
I didn’t feel okay. There was a nervousness that kept taunting me.
I drive home and have an all out meltdown. I need my Mom. 😭 I don’t have my Mom, I lost her when I was 22 years old and I don’t have sisters. I really, really need my Mom right now. She needs to go through this with me. I don’t wanna do this by myself. I NEED her! I get home, walk through the door and straight to the bathroom. I just had to blow chunks. My meltdown continued and my need for my Mom was stronger than ever.
Me to Penny, “I’m a bit better, I have lots of pain. I came home and had a meltdown”
Penny, ” Ohh Sue! I pray you feel better. Love you, Suzanne! I don’t like when you’re in pain”.
Me, ” I’ll be okay. I’m a tough girl. I had a meltdown cuz it’s times like these I wish I still had my Mom. Pain won’t last forever.”
My weekend went by in a blur